The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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