What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
