I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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