She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize