So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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