You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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