I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
