I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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