nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
