he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
