stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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