Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
