oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
