Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize