On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
