He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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