With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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