sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
