first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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