I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize