one might say we're banned from that church
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
