you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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