Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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