If that was your dad, he is hot
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she smelled like a LAN party
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
