i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
