Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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