You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
