Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
