dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
