is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
