put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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