I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
