we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
