So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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