He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
