you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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