dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
