How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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