I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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