My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
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