she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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