I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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