I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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