i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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