physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
