If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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