Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
