I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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