I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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