I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
