Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Congratulations! We have a period
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize