dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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