Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
