Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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