Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she peed on how many people?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
