I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
