You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
