today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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