I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
