hotel room ftw
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
