Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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