Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize