YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
