just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
