The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
