I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
